You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
