Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
