Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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