Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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