He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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