who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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