Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
