found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
