I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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