JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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