I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
