Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
