fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
