his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
