They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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