Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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