You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
