You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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