he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
