The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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