Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
