Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
tell me about the eggs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
