I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just want nice things and good sex
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
