Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
