Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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