he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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