love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
