He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
