I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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