just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
A+ Viking dick
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
