i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
