I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
