ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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