There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
