that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
