batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
