I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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