sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
