omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
