Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
