Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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