Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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