Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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