I'm going to rape someone's good day.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She's just so happy...and so naked.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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