Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
