it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
