; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Randomize