Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
