when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
