Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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