Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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